I woke up this morn­ing think­ing last night was another suc­cess­ful $2 Tues­day at Kilroy’s on Kirk­wood only to find out some­one I know went to jail. I don’t want to men­tion any names or loca­tions, just the gen­eral sit­u­a­tion and how the local law enforce­ment have big­ger fish to fry in this town than a cou­ple of drunk kids com­ing home from the bars. Here’s the account I received from my room­mate this morning:

Three gen­tle­men were walk­ing a rel­a­tively short dis­tance home (Google Maps esti­mates it as less than 900 ft. by walk­ing) when a young lady passes them obvi­ously look­ing like she was suf­fer­ing from the effects of alco­hol. She fell into some bushes in front of a uni­ver­sity owned build­ing and two of the gen­tle­men helped her up. The third gen­tle­man con­tin­ued to walk home and was shortly there­after joined by one of the other gen­tle­man. The first gen­tle­man home enquired as to where the last of their party had gone and the sec­ond gen­tle­man said that the third gen­tle­man was canoodling in the alley with their new female acquain­tance in a nearby alley.

While the Good Samar­i­tan was being rewarded for his kind­ness and the other two gen­tle­man sit safely home, police lights sud­denly flood the street. The two gen­tle­men sit­ting home inves­ti­gate to find their Good Samar­i­tan friend and new female acquain­tance being arrested. What could they have pos­si­bly done to draw atten­tion to them­selves besides do a lit­tle stum­bling and smooching?

After hear­ing this story, I went about my morn­ing to my first class only to see the front page of the IDS. Their top story reads, “IUPD still search­ing for a sus­pect in assault case”. Over the week­end, a crazed male came up on a group of stu­dents return­ing to their dorms and slashed three of them. One male got a 4 inch cut on the throat that required 19 stitches and two girls received “super­fi­cial” cuts. Dur­ing this assault they were able to iden­tify him as being between 5′ 6″ and 6′ 2″ (yes, 8 inches in dis­par­ity) and that he was wear­ing jeans, a yel­low t-shirt, and a white hooded sweat­shirt. How they fig­ured out what color shirt he was wear­ing under his sweat­shirt while not being able to give a rel­a­tive height descrip­tion remains to be untold (they were prob­a­bly drunk).

The assailant ran off and a wit­ness gave police a direc­tion (read: wild goose chase). He is still on the loose and a com­pos­ite sketch has been seen by most of Bloom­ing­ton. I will go on record say­ing that the Good Samar­i­tan looks noth­ing like this sketch even though he may be between 5′ 6″ and 6′ 2″.

So why is the Bloom­ing­ton Police Depart­ment trolling alleys to break up make-out ses­sions instead of try­ing to catch the Bloom­ing­ton Slasher? I haven’t received the full story explain­ing why the two went to jail last night. If it turns out they were break­ing into a car or some­thing, then I’ll write a fol­low up post hail­ing the BPD, but until then they need to get their pri­or­i­ties straight!